To Utu from Tigress
I am a new mom feeling anxious, sad, and somehow guilty about leaving my newborn to return to work after my maternity leave. My husband cannot support our family comfortably, therefore I need this job to afford better things in life. I love my job, and the financial freedom it offers, but 3 months after my maternity leave, I am struggling to attain work-life balance. Most days it feels as if I am neglecting my baby, and I regularly feel burnout and too stressed to give my child quality time or perform optimally at work. I wish my employer had a daycare within, or give me flexi-work hours until my child is older, and that my colleagues will be understanding and give me more time to complete the tasks that are not so urgent.
Utu’s Perspective
Dear Tigress,
It is natural to be filled with emotions when detaching from being a full-time mom to a working mother. Knowing your little one is safe and loved goes a long way in helping you have some piece of mind while you are at work. Whether you have a nanny, daycare, or a trusted family member helping out, try building a support system you genuinely trust.
If your baby is at home, having your nanny plus an additional trusted adult around (when possible) provides extra reassurance. Clear communication, check-ins, and a healthy relationship with your caregiver will ease the anxiety of being away. If your baby is in daycare, stay engaged. Communicate openly with the administrators, ask for regular updates, and request a simple daily log to feel connected to your child’s day.
You’ve Got This- Here’s How
You’re working to build a better future for your family, don’t let guilt convince you otherwise. The truth is: your life after birth depends heavily on how you plan, prioritize, and lean on your community.
At Home
- Stick to a simple, flexible morning routine.
- Prep the night before- clothes, bottles, baby bag, meals.
- Cook quick meals on weekdays; save the complex ones for weekends.
- Share chores and schedules with your partner.
- Maintain a consistent bedtime routine for your baby and rest for yourself.
At Work
- Be kind to yourself- don’t overload your plate.
- Negotiate a flexible arrangement where possible (WFH days, adjusted hours, part-time).
- Communicate your availability clearly, especially around pumping times.
- Set healthy boundaries so work doesn’t spill into family time.
- Delegate when needed and push back on unrealistic expectations.
If You Pump at Work
- Choose pumping-friendly outfits.
- Use private spaces or the lactation room.
- Schedule your pumping sessions and store milk safely.
Take Care of You
A healthy, calm mom is a better mom and a better employee.
- Rest when you can.
- Eat well to keep your energy up.
- Enjoy simple “me time” rituals- yoga, walks, mani-pedi, reading, or just quiet time.
- Choose quick routines, comfortable outfits, and drop non-essential tasks.
- Say “no” without guilt- at work and at home.
- Use affordable conveniences: delivery apps, cleaners, gadgets that save time.
- Create intentional bonding time with your baby- morning cuddles, evening play, or bedtime routines. And expect rough days; sleepless nights and overwhelm happen.
Tigress, remember, motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s no perfect balance- only what works for you. Be patient with yourself. Ask for help. Don’t compare your journey with anyone else’s. You’re doing better than you think!
Advice for Expectant Working Moms (Preparing Before Maternity Leave Ends)
Arrange Childcare Early
- Choose a daycare or nanny you trust.
- Visit facilities, ask questions, and observe caregivers.
- Vet nannies thoroughly and check references.
- Identify a reliable backup caregiver for emergencies.
Know Your Workplace Policies
- Understand maternity benefits, flexible work options, leave entitlements, and childcare perks.
- Stay loosely in touch with a colleague to avoid coming back feeling lost.
- Ease into the transition—return mid-week if possible.
Plan Your Home & Work Routines
- Create a daily checklist for mornings and evenings.
- Start freezing milk a month before returning.
- Meal-plan and stock up on essentials.
- Sleep-train your baby if possible.
- Run practice mornings a week before your return to smooth out any bumps.
- Let your nanny start early to bond with the baby and learn the routine.
Utu Community Experience
Have you been in Tigress’s shoes, or supported someone who was? Share your experiences, tips, or words of encouragement below. Your story or experience might be exactly what another mom needs to hear today!
4 responses to “How Do I Balance My Work and Life After Having a Baby?”
Building a routine that worked for me really helped me stay sane after having my third child. For the first two, I really wanted to have it all, and thought work life balance meant 50-50, but experience taught me that my work life balance cannot be the same as that of another mum, either because of the resources that I had, or simply because our capabilities are different. Luckily my partner is of great help, and sometimes when it is too much, he takes care of the baby as I take my power naps to refuel.
Dear Alice,
Thank you for sharing this thoughtful and honest reflection. You make an important point that work–life balance is not a one-size-fits-all concept, but rather, it evolves with experience, resources, and individual capacity. Building a routine that works for you, leaning on a supportive partner, and recognizing when to rest are all powerful reminders that sustainability, not perfection, is what truly matters.
Going back to work after maternity leave is one of the hardest and strenous events for a working mom. You have to deal with:-
1)Separation anxiety (for mom) and mom guilt. For me this is the worst but it does get better with time.
2) New workplace dynamics. Your team adapts to life without you, so they establish new dynamics that you have to adapt to. Unfortunately most of the time you are expected to jump right in catch up, with teams that are not usually very accommodating. You might be the ‘slow one’ for a while 🤣
3)Fatigue. Physical fatigue from sleep deprivation, psychological fatigue from dealing with everything and everyone both at work and home.
4) Pumping-my workplace doesn’t have a lactation room. Sometimes I go back home without pumping at all due to work load and that’s when I have to deal with full, engorged , leaking breasts while serving my clients.
We just have to overcome these challenges because these babies eventually grow up and we are working to provide a better future for them.
Most of the time getting that balance is difficult
How to overcome these challenges? I couldn’t agree more with utu. Thanks for the solid advise.
Be encouraged, you are not alone in this
Hello KERRY,
I couldn’t agree more with these insights – returning to work after maternity leave is both emotionally and physically demanding. You’ve captured the reality so honestly: from separation anxiety and shifting workplace dynamics to sheer exhaustion and the very real challenges of pumping without adequate support. These experiences are often overlooked, yet they shape how difficult that transition can be.
You’re also right that, while balance is hard to achieve, the season does evolve, and the motivation to build a better future for our children keeps us going. Thank you for sharing this so openly and for reinforcing the importance of supportive workplaces and practical, empathetic guidance. Your words are encouraging and a powerful reminder to working mothers that they are not alone.